when is  the time grandma
that i'll melt into your hearth like a skyblue flower
peel the memories from your wallpaper
like sunrays trough the ages
when will i cover your skin
as eternal as a sheet
of white marble
strings of  black curles
swimming in it's still water.

i wear my silence like a mask
and murmur like a ghost

Siouxsie is where the musician ends and the magician begins.

south estonian seaside town
no water only thoughts around
roots are moving in the ground
said you take me up
into your holy sound
all the leaves are falling down
into your spiralling skin
take me to the skyroom of your mind
hung with jewels and forrest rhymes
you lift me up by your elbow
hear the bright floriated  thoughts of the butterfly
that sits still but flies inside .

Trough the membrane of your skin
i can see your beating hearth
you are the foil , the silverrain
that keeps the sound of the mystic bell
into the white cathedral
...and i keep ringing .

Tragic thought of the day ( oh how i like to collect these like autumnleaves) :

She is not a Femme Fatale ...
Cause a femme fatale does fatale things to men , not to herself.
I guess there has been a mistranslation or misinterpretation at some point .
That's what happens when you hire a German girl to play in your band .

a sense of magic in the human interaction :

She put some crystals in my pocket.
When after a few months i realised this , cause it kinda happened without thinking ,
I asked her why she gave them to me .
She said " i dont know " .
So it seem crystals have a will of their own . They move from person to person.
Like soul gifts . They have their own reasons for doing this :-)

I'm living between worlds and it's not all in my mind ...

thoughts on the absence and silence of God :

I started to see loneliness as the fundament of this universe .
Often people think it is a curse or a disaster .
But in the beginning there was only loneliness , than love got created, things divided , there were many ...
So it is , the first feeling ever.
The start of something good.
The seed of yearning and creation .
It is the prime base of everything, the first ever felt emotion . It is the true connection with "God".

Come on Wolfgang, won't you crawl on up inside of me ...

" Would you love me for my money? "
Nick Drake , Northern Sky

Some poor men deserved procreation ...i want more Nick Drake's in this world .

x Thomas what shall i do i feel a black line coming up ?
- I don't know, haven't seen any black line just use pink to paint it over ...
x I don't have any pink .
- Use dissolvant, i mean lipstick ...
x It's red !
- Cry so it gets lighter.

SHE really knows how to comfort me !!! :-)  ( eventhough she is dead but anyway hahah)

(a nightexcursion at Gravensteen)

crossroads of smell and powdered eyebrows
the highpriests are putting flames into the citycandles
all the city's phantoms are drinking
in the castle surrounded by trafficlights

her bright lips are  printed on linnen dreams
her wet hands dripping as she climbs the fruittree of her body
like a trapezedancer in the sunlight circus of her mind
looking down on the ecstatic glow of her skin into the vertigo of mosaic thoughts

make her hearth tremble
make the skin come of like the crust of a vulcano
make the silence whisper featherlike words
a  bath of tickling stars resounding the arrousal of her voice

in the castle where nobody lives anymore
it is quiet in the starless night
no one expects ...an orgy of hellish butterflies and perfumed ghosts
for their invisibility sleeps ...inside the mouth of desire

you call towards the boredom of this town
you curse the moderne age as blasphemeous
the emptyness in the peoples souls
but it's the dead who are partying hardest .

The Uncurable Sickness / Real Love

your neon skin flickers on and off
i hears songs ringing in your atomic waste
eventhough you stand still
addicted to the dark of your shadow

it's real time in your eyes
once a year when the planets pass
you let me look into your eternity
all secrets deep inside of you

and i feel that for no reason
we are holding hands
and i feel that for no reason
we are lovers

wild stains a forrest branched on your chest
this blood carved by the loving hands of trees
is the love you feel for your mother
the Mephistopheles breastfeeding her deadborn angels

cause we run into the tower of wisdom
with each step we yearn for wings
in her highest tower we find
a looking glass mirror of our lonely sins.

for my Vampire Queen

into the dark of your body
i come alive again
into the blue of your eyes
i feel the saddest euphoria
into the  green of your radiance
i sink into your glowing swamp
into the red of your lips
i become the food of your starving soul
into the yellow of your hair
i join the dance of galaxies
into the purple of your thoughts
i am dead flesh
i am colourless, empty
a bed of marble
a grave for a rainbow
on which she is sleeping with open eyes
fireworks bursts in her devilish grin.

( ontbijttafelgedichtje Mariakerke Gent)

Ik droomde van het zonlicht
dat feller was dan overdag
Ik droomde van de dood
die erotischer was dan haar glimlach
Ik droomde van muziek
van een virtuositeit waar geen instrument voor bestaat
Ik droomde van de eenzaamheid
van een wereld waar ikzelf de andere was
Ik droomde van een kosmische grap
die je aan geen levend  mens kunt vertellen
Ik droomde van een gezicht
dat mij niet toehoorde
Ik droomde van het woord
dat vuur vatte in mijn mond
en zich aan de wereld openbaarde
in absolute stilte .

Ik droomde dat ik ontsnapte doorheen mijn oor
in de absolute leegte van het woord.
Ik droomde van een klank
die niemand ooit gehoord had

Ik droomde van de ziel
die zich wentelde in het zingende licht
dat feller dan overdag was

Ik droomde van de ziel
die haar dode lichaam deed haar herleven
roodgloeiend als een erotische glimlach

Ik droomde van de ziel
die weerklonk als muziek
met een virtuositeit waarvoor geen instrument bestaat

Ik droomde van de ziel
die in haar eenzaamheid
een wereld werd vol anderen

Ik droomde van de ziel
een kosmische grap
die je niet langer aan mensen kunt vertellen

Ik droomde van de ziel
ik zag  mijn gezicht
dat niemand herkende

Ik droomde van de ziel
die vuur vatte in de vorm van een woord
zich aan de wereld openbaarde...

in absolute stilte.

Ik droomde dat mijn ziel ontsnapte
en zichtbaar werd
een klank die nog nooit iemand gehoord had.

the Quantum Magician:

with my reptile feet i dance creatures into reality
spheres of light and colour
atmosphere of innerspace
the Faun turns into a sense
stimulantia des Kreative
positive quantum characters
open to ... the strada of light
become a Quantum Magician
women give us gifts :
stones from the beach,
nuts from the trees,
toys in the shape of a plastic dinosaur.
nature spirits manipulating human behavior
Dramatron,access, a play with senses,
animal emotion
the soul speaks
with soft hands .

Artistical maturement :

In " the Seventh Seal" Max von Sydow is playing chess with Death.(mid 50ies black and white)
In " Passion of Anna" Max von Sydow is playing chess with Liv Ullmann , a woman.(late 60ies colour)

It seems Ingmar had understood that Death is not a fictional character, but the one we die for .

The mask is there not to hide the face of the actor but to show his internal world .
It's not a hidding thing but a revealing thing to wear a mask.

great lyric x

I came to this city (Gent) in search of people with supernatural powers as i have met some in Estonia, i was
convinced these people must exist everywhere . Every town at least has one fairy or White Witch . But i never thought i would find her , let alone she would become my (ex)girlfriend . I show u this picture so you could see for yourself ...otherworldy eyes ...unreal presence ...as trapped in another dimension . These people really exist . Her name is Evi .

There are 4 fantastic popbands in history : the Beatles, the Kinks, Big Star and .... BELLE & SEBASTIAN :-)